Lord, Set the Pace (Prophetic Prayer)

I’m not the woman I used to be. I am not going back to Egypt. I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. I have died to sin, I am alive to God. I exist to worship and serve the Lord.

I am a weak human being. Without him, without being rooted in the remembrance of his love, of all he has done for me I fall. He is my deliverer; he keeps my foot from stumbling.

I will not focus on my weakness or my sin because he has called me to look to the rock that is higher than I. How did I get here? How is it I find myself going back to the ways of Egypt?

Egypt is more than the outward sin I commit, it is a heart posture of slavery—a mind yet to be redeemed by the realities of sonship. When I revert to the ways of Egypt, it is because I have submitted to the mind of Egypt. I become a victim to my deceitful passions and desires.

To say I don’t have what it takes to go or to do what God is calling me to do, would be to suggest that it is my own strength that is to carry me in my calling. This is a lie from the pit of hell.

The promised land isn’t a place of perfection or human strength, it is a life of sonship cultivated by constant dependency on the Father. When I go back to Egypt it is because I believe that His manna is not enough. When I go back to Egypt it is because I am often going at a pace in my wilderness or in my promise land that He has not set. In my ignorance I say in my heart, “the Lord is not providing” and yet if I slow down I would see that He is providing all that I need. Provision isn’t just financial—it is emotional; it is spiritual.

God is an emotional healer and provider, a best friend and an ever-present help; this means that he is always present to help me. I am never alone.

When I go back to Egypt, it is because I am going at a pace in my own strength.  

Perhaps this gets to an even deeper fear in my heart, that I am afraid of resting. I am afraid of not doing. I am afraid that if I don’t get everything done, he will take the promises, take the ministry, take his plan for my life. Again, here we see an orphan mindset exposed. Why is it that I believe if I don’t work then I’ll miss it? As if God is some conditional God who only gives to those who earn his promises.

It is, what I am experiencing, a perverted understanding of stewardship. Of course, it is a biblical principle that we are called to steward well over every gift, vision, and promise of the Lord but if “my acts of faith” are motivated by fear, then it is no longer love I am working from, it is slavery.

There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear. This is the promise of my Father. Jesus, get to the core of my fear. Get to the core of my brokenness. Don’t help me change my behavior; transform my heart. For the 1-trillioneth time I confess out of my mouth, I surrender. I will not change myself. I can’t change myself. No man has the power to change a heart; only you can do that. So, I admit my weakness once again and invite you in. I am weak, pitiful, wretched, and poor. Give my eye salve to see you rightly for I know I become that which I behold. Help me see your grace, your mercy, your rest, and your love rightly that I might live accordingly. I won’t miss it because you are the purpose for which I live. As long as I am looking at you, I have all that I need.

Father, set the pace once again. Slow me down. Restore me to yourself. Lead me beside still waters. Restore my soul. I love you.

                                                                                                Your daughter,

                                                                                                Nicole <3